


Hesitant

by Ellstra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:02:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: Hux’s eyes flutter closed, and he leans into the kiss, putting all the words he can’t say into it, all the feelings that want to be expressed but won’t translate into intelligible sentences.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by  this amazing piece of art by johix

“Don’t go,” Kylo mumbles sleepily when Hux shifts on the bed.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Hux protests.

“But you’re thinking about it.”

Hux doesn’t answer; he looks outside the transparisteel panel, at the nebulae and stars and planets. Kylo is spread over the majority of the bed, as always, radiating heat and taking up space. Hux is still baffled by how easily Kylo does it, and it always reminds him of how different their upbringings were. While Hux always tried to appear as small as possible, never extending his arms or legs in vain, told to shut up and obey, Kylo was a spoiled child, who never had to worry about sticking out. It suits him, Hux thinks, but he envies him the ability to just act as his body wants. 

“The Order won’t crumble if you’re five minutes late, you know,” Kylo says.

“So won’t you if I’m on time.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I  _ do _ ,” Hux sighs but turns to face Kylo. Strong arm covers his shoulder and lock him in place. 

“Why do you keep trying to leave before I wake up?” Kylo whispers. His hair is all around him, sticking out in all directions. It will shake back into its usual shape as soon as Kylo gets up, Hux knows. It’s unfair. 

“I’m not,” Hux lies and bites his lip.

“You don’t have to stay the night, if you don’t want to, but if you do, I’d prefer if you didn’t sneak out in the middle of the night. It makes me feel I wasn’t good enough and you’re too polite to tell me,” Kylo points out.

“I’d tell you if you weren’t good enough, trust me. I wouldn’t come back if I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Not the point,” Kylo growls.

Hux is silent again, watching Kylo’s protruding clavicle, unable to look up.

“It doesn’t mean anything, if that’s what you want,” Kylo says. The muscles on his neck are fascinating to watch, so Hux does that. “But you’re giving me some mixed signals.”

Hux knows his cheeks are red, his ears on fire. That’s the most embarrassed he’s felt in a long while. He should have known better than to think Ren would just shut up and fuck him.

“It does mean something to me,” he says, quickly, breathlessly. Kylo doesn’t understand him, he can tell by the way the shoulder he’s watching flexes as if Kylo’s trying to get closer to him. 

“I just want you to feel comfortable with me,” Kylo says, without asking Hux to repeat what he said.

_ I am comfortable,  _ Hux thinks,  _ oh I’m so comfortable. _

“I want to do this right,” Kylo keeps talking, as if he wants to hide Hux’s silence, “I need you to tell me what you want.”

_ I want you so bad. I want you and I don’t know how to tell you. _

“Hux,” Kylo frowns, “are you even listening to me?”

“Mhm,” Hux forces himself to look up from Kylo’s chest, “I’m contemplating my answer.”

“It’s not so complicated. You either are okay with what we have or you’re not.”

_ Oh, my foolish knight, it really is that easy for you, isn’t it?  _

Hux prides himself in being quite eloquent, in putting words together smartly and cunningly, but this time, he feels like words are simultaneously too much and not enough. He moves suddenly, sitting up and straddling Kylo’s lap. Kylo moves beneath him, turning between Hux’s thighs to face him. 

Hux catches the headboard of the bed to support himself, his other hand landing on Kylo’s thigh. Kylo’s lips meet his before he can think about it properly, and suddenly they’re kissing, gently, softly, like they’ve never had to do before. 

Hux’s eyes flutter closed, and he leans into the kiss, putting all the words he can’t say into it, all the feelings that want to be expressed but won’t translate into intelligible sentences. His emotions cascade and pour into Kylo’s mouth. 

Hux whimpers a little when Kylo’s hand grips his hip and his lips part further to allow more of Kylo’s tongue to smear the love off Hux until there’s no doubt, no mistaking of just how desperately Hux wants him, and how afraid he is of Kylo leaving him.

When he finally pulls away, the sight of Kylo is almost too much. His chest tightens and he almost makes an undignified squeaking noise when he watches Kylo suck in his lower lip and grin. They rest their foreheads together and Hux knows he’s blushing but he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care when Kylo looks like Hux’s kiss lit a whole sun within him. Hux, the Starkiller, the man who dried suns for his gain, lit a fire within his lover.

“I think I didn’t get it the first time,” Kylo says after the glowing, significant moment has passed, “can you explain it again?” 

Hux scoffs and pinches Kylo’s thigh before leaning forward again.


End file.
